Modern Ninjas goes on vacantion
by Shinka-chan
Summary: Shikamaru and the rest of the gang goes on vacantion, but will they survive trapped inside of nowhere? Will they senseis stop drinking and actually do something? Will Tsunade, Shizune and Jiraya actually help? Still in Progress
1. Car trip

Modern ninjas goes on vacation

~ Car trip ~

"Ew"- sight Shikamaru. It was on top of a rented automobile, watching the stars. To his side, it was Chouji, eating chips. To the side of the automobile they were 4 bags, full of clothes and bathroom stuff. It was also a tray of shougi and three huge bags field with chips. They were 15 shinobis that were going on vacation, too the one house that Shikamaru had rented, as with the automobile. ---"How troublesome"- thought shikamaru.

It was Chouji to finish his chip, when he listen somebody arriving. Sakura loaded what it seems like 3 huge trip luggages, while went to push a sleepy Naruto, that dragged two bags full with ramen and clothes. Behind it came Sai, only with a bag and his drawing book, with Ino, that had go to her house to pick up her 7 trip bags , together full of unuseless things.

-"Its still are 4 and half of the morning, we have that to leave already?" - ask Naruto.

Not yet he had finished his phrase, when it arrived Lee and TenTen. Behind it went Kiba , wolding in the arms a sleepy Akamaru, and Shino. More behind, it went Neji and Hinata, together with Hanabi.

-"Why can´t I go?" - ask Hanabi

-"B-Because it is an genins and chunnis trip. You aren´t old enough"- sayed Hinata

-"Main branch"- thought Neji.

Now it has about 17 bags, counting with Ino´s trash and Chouji´s chips.

- "Ino, what the hell did you brought?" - sweat-dropped Chouji, when he saw the bags

- "Nothing special, only the essential" – Answered Ino .

- "Wait" - Said Kiba- "You said that it was 15 people too go, but it only are here 12."

5 minutes later, they heard 3 people.

They were Temari, Gaara and kankuro. Temari brought 3 bags and her fan. Behind, Gaara brought his gourd, and 2 bags. Kankuro brought 2 bags, together with frightful parts of puppets, everything inside of one wagon.

- "Wait" - said Naruto- "I lives tree blocks away and I was waked up by Sakura, and you guys live in Sunagakure, and had arrived here in time."

-"Its called no sleeping, pretty face"- said Temari-

After having loaded the bags (that in the end were 24) everyone was inside the car and going to the vacantion house. It was a 5 hours trip. Gaara sat down and started to play " Call of duty" in his PSP. Ironically, to be a cold blood murder that was feared as the Shukaku itself, gave him a great advantage in games. Nobody ever made or ill made a challenge to the feared " sexysandmanteddybear23". Sai started to drawing something in his notebook. Naruto had fell asleep with the face threaded in a goblet of ramen. Ino and Sakura were arguing on Sasuke, as always. Hinata was seeing Naruto sleep in a strange way. Chouji was in the passenger driving seat trying to clean crumbs of chips before Shikamaru saw then. Neji was brushing his hair. The remaining portion of the people was playing cards. Shikamaru pulled the curtain that separated him and Chouji of the remaining portion of the gang, and turn the radio in the max.

- "Eyoh, shinobis, you´re listening to NinFM, the biggest nin radio ever. Ok, you knows the rules, just phone asking for a record here that we play it. Ok now in line we have Maito Guy, from Konoha, Guy:"

- "Guy?" - said Shikamaru

- "OMG, I can´t belive I was able of being in the show OMG…"

- "Good morning, Guy-kun, how are you?"

- "I´m feeling youthfully youthfull."

- "Ok, are you alone?"

- "No, i´m it my beautiful partners, Kakashi, Asuma and Kurenai, all Jounin like me"

By now, everyone in the car were listening. In the ramen shop, Kakashi just dropped his " Icha Icha Paradise" , almost fast as Asuma almost choke in his cigarette. By now, Kurenai said that she needed doing "woman stuff" and had run way.

- "What's the record, Guy-kun?"

- " Kung fu fighting"

- "Wanna dedicate it you somebody?"

- "Yes my beautiful, beautiful students, Neji, TenTen, and specially Lee, You know I love you, Lee" - cried Guy

- "I love you too, Guy- sensei"- said Lee, also in tears

-"Your sensei his gay!"- Said Kiba

-"Cool!" – said Sai, excited

Tenten had turn blue and Neji looked himself in the bathroom.

After about 3 hours of trip, everyone was crazy. Neji was still locked in the bathroom. Tenten was less blue than before. Sai and Ino wanted to play strip poker. Hinata was passed out after Naruto saying " You want to see my boxers" e Kankuro start panic for absolutely no reason. Shikamaru decided to stop in a power station.

Except for Neji, who was still locked on the bathroom, Hinata, who passed out, everyone, was outside the van. The girls entry into the girls bathroom, and the boys to the boys bathroom. The rest of the men in the bathroom looked at they.

-"Yeah, orgy"-yelled Sai

After they locked Sai in a cubicle, they walk in too the filthy urinals.

-"Okay, no one look down, okay?"- said Shikamaru

_~After a while~_

Naruto, who was next to Gaara, start to get his eyes down

-"What are you doing?"-asked Gaara

-"Well, you have so many fangirls, and they say your wonderful and manly, that I thought…"

-"One more movement, and I kill you."

_~Seconds later~_

-"Old Godzilla was jumping around, Tóquio city like a big playground, when suddently Batman come from the shade and it Godzilla with a bat-granade. Godzilla got piss and began to attack, …"

-"Shut up, Kankuro"- said Gaara.

After they´re akward trip to the bathroom, everybody sit in the car. Chouji was buying candies. Shikamaru was feeling the car with oil.

-"Oy, is everyone ready?"-asked Shikamaru

-"Ready"-yelled everyone

-"Okay, were we go"

And they they're goon, without noticing that the hose was still woked up it the car

~ home, sweet home... ~

-"We arrived" - said Shikamaru, after they arrived to the vacation home after a stressful 5 hour trip.

The House had 3 parts:

1 - The entry, formed by a hallway, with a closet, a living room and a kitchen

2 - The Room area, which gave too the living room

3 - A Garden.

After stowed things, the 15 shinobis decided to go around the area. The three sand siblings were using shirts with the symbol of they're village. Neji, Hinata, Kiba, chouji, ino and Shikamaru were using t-shirts with the symbol of their respective clans. Naruto had a shirt with the symbol of Konoha. Tenten used a shirt saying "gun - a- maniac" that Neji gave her, together with the book "how to talk gangsta in 25 lessons". Sakura had a pink shirt and Lee a shirt saying "i heart Guy - Sensei". Sai had a dark blue t-shirt that said "sex - appeal". None of them took they're forehead protector, because they did not want to cause a show.

It was a small village in the middle of nothing, formed by three huge houses, one that Shikamaru had rented, for the richest tourists pass the holidays, and some homes, queued, with some stores. There was a small health centre and a school that had about 15 students who lived in that village. At that time, one of the houses was closed and the salesman had told too Shikamaru that there was a family that was going on holiday to the 3rd home, the most beautiful (and expensive) House of the third. Everyone had saved money for the holidays, who the cost spread over 15 people was not a lot of money.

But the people who lived were poor. It were around 10 families, most of grandparents and grandchildren, who they're parents had gone to the large villages looking for better opportunities, and had left their children with they're grandparents. All men were farmers, who meted at night in the village Tavern, and women take care of the animals, children and home. All this sexism leaves the girls in the group sick.

~ Meanwhile, in Konoha ~

-"Are you sure that this is a good idea, Guy?" - said Asuma, with his cigarette in the corner of mouth.

- "Of curse I think!"-said Guy, when he sit down in the drivers seat

- "I agree with Guy" -said Kakashi, without lifting the eyes of its questionable reading material- they are it they´re hormones jumping around on they´re bodies, God knows what they will do.

Booth Kurenai and asuma sweat - dropped

- "HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"– said Guy, highlighting the accelerator, without remembers the car was not turn out or had gas

Everyone sweat - dropped


	2. Spin the god dawn botle!

Chapter 3- A walk in hell

The 15 nin of Konoha and sunagakure were around by the little village. Shikamaru was thinking that the 3 things more hated by people of the countryside were foreign strangers, women with superiority complex and pallid - gay - look - a - like, and his group had the tree

"Ew" - sight Shikamaru. Everybody in the street was look at them and whispering "it's the new guys". Only Gaara Temari, Kankuro aren't hurried. Being Gaara the shukaku, they were known throughout the sunagakure as "sexysandmanteddybear29", "fangirlakeboshi_666" and "mewmewtoquiocatlover _ ^ ^).

The thoughts of Shikamaru were interrupted by a sudden headache and a huge PAW. It past a few seconds until Shikamaru realised that a stone had being throw against his head

- "Suck it city idiots" - yelled a little kid, with approximately 7 years, from inside the tavern.

While Shikamaru considers entering the Tavern or not, the rest of the group tried not to laugh, expect Gaara, whose expression almost never changed, Shino which (almost) nothing annoyed him or make him laugh and Sai, which was too busy looking to the cute little butt of the farmer who just passed by.

Shikamaru decided enter the tavern and confront the kid. He walks in and saw the kid next to a group of 3 boys and several adults, slightly drunk, laughing.

- "Oy, was you who throw this stone at me?" - Sayed Shikamaru, pointing to the stone at his hand

- "Yes, i was" - sayed the kid, full of pride

- "That wasn´t very nice"

-"So?..."

- "So that is not way to treat people, I think you whom me an apology"

All in the tavern began laughing

- "What if I don't apologize? You beat meUHN?"

All in the tavern began shouting, proud in the boy

- "Well, i think some slaps across your face could made you good"-said Shikamaru

- "EY, are you treating my son?" - said a huge man, with a threatening look on his face, taking a knife from his belt

- "Show him, Dad"

Shikamaru start to think. First, the light of the tavern was low, the kagemane no jutso would not work very well against men. But, a good Ninja never leaves home without a kunai and shurikens. Plus, we had 14 talented Shinobi outside ready to backup Shikamaru if something goes wrong

After awhile, Shikamaru said:

- "I know what, you are right. Sorry for having disturbed or insulted you or your child in any way"

Shikamaru knew that this was the best way to end the discussion

- "Apology accepted" - said the man, retaining the knife back to the belt

- "But dad… "

- "Shut up, Tite! You are still too young to understand discussions between adults! Why don't you go play outside, okay?"

Tite showed his tongue too Shikamaru and leaved with the other 3 boys

The tavern had calmed

- "Forgive my son. It is a little energetic."

-"You don't have too apologize"- said Shikamaru

After the discussion, everyone went home

Chapter 4- Spin the god dawn bottle!

-"Told you that was supposed to turn left"

Kakashi, Guy, Kurenai and Asuma were lost in the desert

- "Wait I had an idea" - said Guy

- "Now what?"-sight Asuma

- "Why won't you summon Pakou and he tracks the smell of Naruto, finding the way"

Kakashi remembered when Naruto took his "Icha Icha paradise "and lick it, for absolutory no reason

Kakashi summoned Pakou and the rest of his dogs, and they tracked the sense

- "NOW, TO LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Kurenai, asuma and Kakashi sweat dropped

-"AHHHHHH" - bark Kiba, after dinner – "I ´ m full. What do we do now?"

Everyone began thinking until Sai had an idea

- "How about "spicy spin the bottle""

- "What is that?" - chouji asked

- "We made a circle, spun the bottle and however landed in go to a closet for 5 minutes"-said Sai

During the moment, an awkward silence invaded the kitchen

~ Meanwhile ~

- "I don't know but heard..."

-"I don't know but I have heard"

- "I don't know but I have heard"

- "I don't know but I have heard"

- "... That I love my student's from my heart"

- "That I love my student's from my heart"

- "That I love my student's from my heart"

- "That I love my student's from my heart I don't have time for this"

All made a circle with a bottle in the middle. Spin the bottle. It was in Lee. Lee spins the bottle. It was in non other than Gaara of the desert

Slightly red, the two were for the closet.

~ Meanwhile ~

- "My student fights ´ s like a lion..."

- "My student fight ´ s like a lion"

-- "My student fight ´ s like a lion"

- "My student fight ´ s like a lion"

- "... I love me ´ m so much"

- "I love I ´ m so much"

- "I love I ´ m so much"

- "I love I ´ m so much that doesn't even rhyme"

"... Kiss, Kiss, fall in love, tanatanatanatanananananana"

- "I love this series" - said shoji

- "Me too"- said Kiba

- BIM -

Ring the bell, announcing that Gaara and Lee could leave

Gaara and Lee come out both very red, with hair going in all sides and clothes for the sides too

- "What happened inside?" - Kiba asked

- "I prefer not to talk about it" - Sayed Gaara

- "EWWW, that ´'s so gay!" - Sayed Naruto

- "At least i didn't ´ t Kiss Sasuke"

Naruto start sculling.

Gaara spun the bottle. It landed on Tenten. Tenten spun the bottle, and it landen on Neji, who start to blush a deeply red. The two walked in too the closet. Two minutes later, Neji come out of the closet crying, and locket himself in the bathroom again.

-"I´m coming"- sayed Lee

-"What did you do to him?" - asked Sakura

-"I don't know, we were almost kissin´ and he ran away."

~I´m the bathroom~

-"Okay, what's the matter, neji?"

-"I can't"

-"What?"

-"Say that I love her"

- "Its just a matter of time"

-"No its not. Tenten is pretty and I'm ugly and stupid"

-"No you're not, neji. You're manly, and sensitive…"

-"…AND I ATRATT DUDES! BUAAAAAAAAAAA"

-"I give up"

By now, Temari and Shikamaru we´re already in the closet.

Bouth start to blush, and, as the time past, they´re lips we´re comig more and more together

BIM

-"Okay, bitches, times over". Said Ino, taken shika and temari out of the closet.

They were doing they´re best by covering up the red on they face. Shikamaru spun the bottle. It landed on Naruto. Naruto spun the bottle. It landed on Hinata.

Hinata had turn blood-red. They walk in the closet.

"…BUT I WANT TO SEE TOQUIO MEW MEW"- yelled Kankuro

"…THAT ANIME IS GAY! WE ARE GOING TO WATCH OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB!"- yelled kiba back

~ One hour had past~

-"Kids!" –yelled Guy, opening the door- "maybe they´re tran…"

Sai was running around naked, Lee was making out it Gaara on the couch, while Chouji and Temari were eating popcorn watching they making out. Ino,Sakura, and Tenten were drunk, Shino was on the fridge for absulutery no reason, Kiba and Kankuro were fighting cause of the TV, Shikamaru was complaining about how life is troublesome Neji was still crying on the bathroom and they were some pretty disturbing screams coming out of the closet.

-"ITS JUST LIKE ON THE BOOK"- yelled Kakashi

Asuma fainted and Kurenai was making a funny face

Guy had turn blue

Chapter 5 – SEX ED.

After everyone calm down, and Asuma regains conscious, everyone sat down as Guy start to speaking

-"I'm very disappointed it all of you. We thought you were responsible as genins and chunnins."

The rest of the jounin agreed

-"But no! You act like you're horny apes. "

The jounin start to raising they're eyebrows

-"That's why were giving you a SEX ED CLASS"

Kurenai´s eyes were wide open. Kakashi dropped his "Icha Icha paradise". Asuma fainted again.

" " " """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" " " "

-"…and so, as the lotus open, the youthful sparkles up, spreading the petals of life everywhere. And that's who babies are born."- said Guy

-"YAEYH, GUY-SENSEI"

-"You have no idea what he just said"-said neji

-"… YAEYH, GUY-SENSEI"

Kurenai, Asuma and Kakashi looked at each other


	3. Suna s message

Chapter 6 – Suna´s message

-"Okay, it's decided: For now on, dogs cannot use VISA credit cards in any Starbucks in Suna."

-"Hay"- said the rest of the council

-"Okay, now, next topic, Halloween is coming…"

-"It's May"- said Baki

-"As I was saying, Halloween is coming, and we need to prepare the council party. Who prepares the party, this year?"

No one raised hands.

-"Okay. We just ask the ninjas…"

-"They are gone in a "mission" too Las Vegas"

-Everyone except Baki students

-"Uhm…yeah… they´re on vacation…"

-"But they're the only chunnins that are close too Sunagakure."

-"How about Temari´s students?"

-"They're genins, Baki. And, only Kankuro knows where too find good hoes"

Everyone agreed

-"Its settle. Temari´s students ill go to deliver the message too Baki students. Now, the next topic, ducks managing supermarkets, against or agreeing?"

~ _In Konoha_ ~

-"Ah, Shizune, Konoha is so calm… no explosions, or people dying too the hundreds… ah, it's so boooooring… "- sigh Tsunade

-"Its that part of the letter?"

-"You decide Shizune, you decide"

Tsunade troughs were interrupted for a drop of saliva, who came of the roof, by a men standing in the perfect spot too see Tsunade´s Brest

-"JIRAYA!"-yelled Tsunade

~ Back in the Suna ~

Matsuri and her friend and one of Kankuro´s students, Milane, where walking in the Suna, when they found Baki

-"Hi, Baki-sama"

-"Hi girls, listen, I have a mission too you. I need you to deliver this too your senseis, that are on vacation."

Baki gave them a piece of paper, which had a draw of a map

-"Get ready. I´m gonna pick up my bags and were leaving"

-"Hay, Baki-sama!"

After Baki leaved, the two girls began to talk:

-"Finally, I can see Gaara-sensei! Two weeks ago he went on a mission and when he came back he went on vacation"-said Matsuri, excited

-"We could stay there, and we could sleep there"-whispered Milane

The idea of sleeping on the same room than Gaara make Matsuri bloused

-"Maybe, in the same be…"

-"I get it, Milane!"- yelled Matsuri

-"No wonder they got so crazy yesterday, this coke have alcohol- said Kakashi- Ha ha, coke."

Guy and lee were "youthfully jogging", Asuma and Kurenai were drinking they´re first sake of the morning and Kakashi was goffing around. Gaara was on the living room drinking coffe and watching TV with Chouji, who was eating chips. The rest were sleeping.

The day past quick, and after having leftovers for dinner, they were getting bored

-"I got an idea!"-sayed Sai

-"Oh God…"- sigh Sakura

-"We could play strip poker"-suggest Sai

Everybody had their eyes wide open. Kurenai proceed to spit the sake on her mouth. Asuma fainted

-"Why don't we see TV"-said Sakura

-"Okay"-said everyone

Sakura light the TV, everyone laugh, Neji locked himself in the bathroom tree times, Asuma fainted four times and Guy said the word "youth" 142936 times.

Chapter 7-

Tree ninjas were jumping around on the desert. It was Baki and the two students, going to deliver the message to the Sand Siblings.

After a sleeping night, the house was wake up by one scream:

-"WAKE UP, IT´S THE SHIRTLESS DAY!"

On the roff, Sai was dancing aroud without clothes.

Lee and Guy had just finished they´re matinal jogging.

-"Good morning, Kakashi, feel the youthfull today!"- said Guy

Asuma and Kurenai were drinking they´re matinal sake, and Kakashi was reading his questionable reading material. At the table was Temari, Sakura, Naruto, Hinata, Tenten, Kiba, Ino and Shino. Sai was still dancing on the roof, Neji had locked himself in the bathroom and the rest was on the living room.

_Ding Dong _

It was Baki and the girls

-"Hey Baki-sensei, what are you doing here?"-asked Temari

-"This is a message from the council"- said Baki, delivering the message from the council

-"Thanks , but you aren't thinking in come back to the desert, are y´a"

-"Well…"-said Matsuri

-"C´mon! You can stay with us!"

-"Thank you Temari-sama, and…, by the way, you know that there is a…"

-"Yes. Yes, we know"

The girls and Baki walk with Temari too the kitchen

-"YOU´RE STUDENTS AND SENSEI ARE BEAUTIFUL, TEMARI, ALMOST AS BEAUTIFUL AS LEE AND ME"

-"GUY-SENSEI!"

-"LEE!"

Everyone sweat dropped

-"Where´s Gaara-sensei?"-asked Matsuri, with a concern look on her face

-"Oh he´s in the living room"

-"By the way, as everyone seem Neji?" – asked Tenten

-"He locked himself in the bathroom"- sayed Kurenai

-"Coming"- said Lee, walking thru the living room too the bathroom

-"Wanna eat something?"-asked Temari

-"Sure"-said Baki

-"Are you sure we can stay?"- asked Matsuri

-"Sure you can. We already have two drunks, one porno-maniac and one crazy dude, why can we have you?"-said Temari

_~In the leaving room ~_

-"Ew, life so troublesome"-sight Shikamaru, laying on the couch

_~In the bathroom~ _

-"What's the matter now, Neji "-asked Lee, next to the bathroom door

-"I can't walk thru the same room as see. I don't deserve it"-cried Neji

-"Neji, you deserve it, and you´re gonna do it!"-said Lee, filling his chest with pride

-"What´s that supposed to me… lee what are you… lee, LEE!-yelled Neji

_~ Back too the kitchen ~ _

Everyone in the kitchen heard the scream

-"HHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAA"

-"That girly scream… NEJI!"- Tenten and Guy rushed into the living room

-"Its that normal?"-asked Baki

-"Yes, yes it is"-said Temari

-"Hey, I have an idea!"-said Sakura

-"Wow, Sakura ad an idea? That's new…"-said Naruto, with a surprise look on his face

-"Shut up, Naruto! Because of the recent events, I am going to call a "house-meeting""-said Sakura

-"Whats that?"-asked Kiba

-"You see, every time something's wrong, we call a house meeting"-cleared Sakura

-"Wow, Sakura-cha, … you had an idea"-said Naruto, even more surprise than before

-"Shut up, Naruto!"

-"Okay, ill go call the boys. HEY YOU JACKASSES, GET YOUR LAZY ASSES OVER HERE!"-yelled Ino, without even get up from the sit

-"Too troublesome"- yelled a voice from the living room.

-"Oh, for God´s sake…"- Ino get up and rushed into the living room

-"Oh, Ino, don't beat up Shika! We can make the meeting in the living room!"- said Sakura, nervous

Everyone rushed into the living room.

-"Matsuri?"- said Gaara, surprised

-"Gaara-sensei!"-said Matsuri

-"Okay, everyone sit down"- said Sakura. By that moment, Neji was already there, with difficulties in bred, but alright

-"Okay, this is gonna be the 1st "House-meeting" lead by me, Sakura. First point- I´m gonna make some rules, okay? Rule number one- NO MORE PEOPLE! First, Guy, Kurenai, Kakashi and Asuma-sensei, who are always drinking and don't help here at all, now, gaara´s student and sensei…, next what?

-"Sasuke?"-asked Kiba

-"B…em …shut up! Rule number two- NO STRIPING!"

In that moment, Sai felt heart broken

-"Rule number tree- NO MORE BATHROOM BATLES!" – said Sakura, pointing too a hole in the wall. Neji and Lee locked at each other.

-"That's it for now"

_~In Konoha ~_

-"SHIZUNE!"- yelled Tsunade

-"Yes ma´am?"

-"I'm bored. Konoha is out of problems, Akatsuki doesn't made an attack, … hum…

I know, lets go get Sakura and Naruto. They ill cheer me up"- said Tsunade, prude off herself

-"But they're on vacation"-said Shizune

-"I know, get your bags done. JIRAYA! WAKE UP, YOU STUPID FROG" yelled Tsunade, while trying to wake up Jiraya, who was sleeping on her couch

-Ew… yes ma´an- sight Shizune


End file.
